There are no ideal people. Each of us can be cheerful, sociable, nervous or closed. There are predominant qualities and it is by them that the character of a person is determined. This greatly influences interpersonal relationships and success in various industries. If the chosen model of behavior causes inconvenience: aggressiveness scares people, tears irritate others, and isolation does not allow to make new acquaintances at all, a person thinks about how to change his character.
What is character
Can you change your character? Most experts believe that this is impossible. This is not entirely true. Anyone can change his character himself and thus change his life. But this is not an easy process that requires maximum responsibility, preparation and a clear plan of action.
It is much easier to change your behavior in a specific situation. Let’s say that if a person is not restrained and angry can shout after anyone, be it a dog, an acquaintance or a boss. Learning to react calmly in conflict situations will be easier than excessive emotionality in life, which can manifest itself not only in irascibility, but also in uncontrollable positive outbursts. Few people like hugs and kisses from a stranger when he discovered the promotion and by an overabundance of feelings he shares his joy with others.
Before embarking on a character change, it is important to understand how it is formed.
In fact, at the genetic level, the character is defined only by 5%. The remaining 95% comes from the influence of society and directly from education. Agree: if you grew up in a different country, family and with different traditions and ideas about the good life, you would be a completely different person from yourself.
Parents or their alternates have a direct influence on the character of the child. This applies not only to the adoption of adult behavior, but also to the memorization of the attitudes they give. “Do not worry, be silent, they did not ask you “and” Give me back, be the first ” contrast sharply. And individuals brought up according to such rules will be very different: one will grow up in insecurity, and the other will become a natural leader.
With a change in social circle, a person’s character also tends to change, adjust or find common points of intersection with the environment.
There are also age-related features. The younger a person, the easier it is to retrain. With age, it is much more difficult to change entrenched habits. In adolescence, interests differ from adolescence, and maturity and old age also contrast sharply.
It should be remembered that the innate ability to change is not the same. As well as inner strength. Therefore, for some it may be more difficult. And do not despair. And use your maximum patience.
Changing characters: how to act
You can wait for the character himself to change in the course of life and in different situations, or you can act immediately yourself. It’s time to move on to the question of how to change your character.
Steps to follow:
Explore your character’s properties
Without a clear understanding of who he is, any attempt to radically change his mood will be doomed to failure. For several weeks, write down all the character traits that you find in yourself in a notebook. It is a natural experience, you must not hide anything. It is good if, in addition to the basic qualities, rare manifestations are found. Let’s say in emergency situations.
Understand the reason for your desire
It is important to understand why you chose to be different. Is your desire true? Otherwise, nothing will come of it. If you do not want change, but someone from your loved ones or your environment, and not you personally, it is better to change the environment, not the character. It will be impossible to move forward without your own motivation. If there are changes in character, then temporary. There is no way without personal enthusiasm.
Determine the desired result
Many people think about how to change their character for the better and are defeated in the battle against themselves. This is due to the fact that there is no clear understanding of what the desired character should look like in the end. But without it, it is impossible to find the most correct and effective ways to achieve the goal. It is better to devote a few days to the analysis of the existing and desired character that it is useless to take measures in the hope of a result.
Find a model
It is not a question of thoughtlessly cloning the entire image of another person. But, of course, there are people in your environment who inspire or admire you with certain qualities. The best way to cultivate certain traits in yourself is to look at how people who have the right character act and react in certain situations.
This is especially important in critical situations, when habitual reactions firmly rooted in the brain will take over your behavior. Imagining what the other would do can help.
Of course, you can do without it by inquiring yourself, but this will be an approximate indication that will help you track the progress of your own work.
Find a ” soul mate”
A person who possesses your negative qualities in an even more pronounced form. Communicating with him, observing all the consequences of his actions, it is unlikely that you want to become like that. The action of the anti-motivator can also help you realize, periodically remember why you decided to change.
If it is impossible to control yourself, your feelings and emotions, it is not possible to change your character. Enter into a certain daily routine, write down expensive goals, ways to achieve them. Performing small actions at first, by force, you can develop real strength of mind.
Once accustomed to overcoming difficulties, all subsequent actions will be performed faster, automatically, because the necessary experience has already been gained. You should never deviate from the intended goals, even if something does not work out, laziness, no strength. Everyone can be afraid, but without effort, nothing will come of it.
Personal development and elimination of bad habits
The question is not only how to change your character for the better, but also how you will change yourself. These are often interrelated processes. With a whole list of bad habits that control you, it is problematic to find the strength to change, to develop new qualities.
These or those habits strongly influence a person, shaping his personality. If you want to become fundamentally different, you need to change your life as a whole. Smoking, alcohol or drugs, constant laziness and lack of grooming, a tendency to overeat and nervously gnaw nails will not contribute to this. On the contrary, it is worthwhile to understand how they affect your life, why they are present in them and how to get rid of them. Engaging in personal development, improving existing skills and acquiring new ones, this will only become easier on the road to change.
Although all changes start from the head, they find their first reflection in the body. It is worth monitoring your behavior at the physical level. Keep your head straight, shoulders straightened, accelerate or slow down your gait, depending on the qualities sought, express your opinion loudly, look your interlocutor directly in the eyes.
Being in a new company, places and situations
To show your new qualities. It is important to change your usual habitat. Try something new. Work or consolidate the developed qualities.
Change your dress style
This will help to give up the formed self-image. Clothing can also emphasize certain qualities. To do this, it is enough to look at businessmen, hippies and rastamans, athletes, fashionistas or teachers. Everyone’s dress code will be different depending on their behavior.
Journal of victories and failures
The transformation process is not easy. In order to understand which techniques work and which do not, it is important to enter all these details in writing.
The path to character change will be long, you will have to rethink a lot in life, change even the most obvious things in your behavior. It is worth preparing so that the transformation does not please everyone. Therefore, it is important to know why and why you do it. And remember this. Change for the better always pays off.